Bay Area Houston Magazine

Lillie Heintz. Photo by Christopher Horne

By Lilli Heintz

We all want people to feel satisfied in a relationship whether it’s a friendship, marriage, or dating. We have this need that has to be filled whether it is through action, words, touch, gifts, and even time. Some people don’t know what it is that needs to be filled.

In the environment I work in, the models around me are into zodiac signs and how we act the way we act because of the time and place we were born and how the planets aligned. Even though I do find that satisfying and believe it to some extent, I feel like learning how to satisfy someone’s needs and wants so that they feel comfortable around you, interests me more. I remember my Dad, Pastor Brad of Living Word Church, did a series about love languages. The whole church read the book so that we could apply it to our lives. If you don’t know your love language I definitely suggest reading the book called “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. There are also tests online that you can take to get a more accurate description of your own love language.

When I took the test, it told me that physical touch was number one and quality time was a very close second. That means what fulfills me and makes me happy is hugging you, holding hands, kissing, cuddling, putting my feet on you while sitting down. I show and want that type of love and affection. Then quality time comes into play. Where I just want to spend time with you, be at the same party, in the same room, just you and me or even a huge group of people. I just love physically being with them and or around them.
The other love languages are words of affirmation, which is where you need to be encouraged, supported, built up, to feel comfortable or wanted. The love language of gifts shows thoughtfulness and the action behind the gift is important. And finally, acts of service are when you do something for someone to make them happy or fulfill a need. It can include making a meal, cleaning; any act of service that would make the other person happy makes you happy.

Knowing your own love language is important but also knowing your friends or significant other’s love language is just as important. Some people might not have the same love languages as you. When I make new friends and I want to keep them around, I try to find out their love language. Sometimes I even have them take the test to make sure I am right. I want to satisfy their needs or want and know how to act in serious or fun situations. I don’t want to smother them or say the wrong thing because I don’t know what they are wanting. They might want a gift or an action. This also shows how Acts of Service is my third love language. Knowing others’ love language helps build a better foundation for your relationship to grow and be better from the start.

I am always trying to make sure the people around me are being taken care of the best way possible. I love knowing how I need to make a person happy or comfortable, it just makes me happy. Knowing this information can really better you as a person and better the relationships surrounding you.